Why don't I have peace?

The devotion I read today made me ponder peace. Peace is something that we all crave, isn't it? I struggle with over analyzing and worry on a regular basis. I have learned from my years of counseling that a big contributing factor is my abuse as a child. As a child, subconsciously, my brain was trying to make sense of an insane situation that I instinctively knew was wrong. And because it was insane my brain could never come up with an answer or a solution, therefore while being hard-wired as a human being, my mind learned to analyze all the time. Now over-analyzing is something I battle regularly....sometimes to the point of feeling like I am losing my mind! Interestingly enough, I have yet to meet an abuse survivor that is not the same way. So, if you struggle with this too, be assured that you are not alone.

That being said, when I ponder peace and the times I don't have it, the truth is that I am walking alone.....at least that's what it feels like. It's a self imposed solitude, don't get me wrong. And the reality is that our Lord is always with us but if we choose, we can put distance between us and Him. I grew up hearing, "If you find you aren't close to Him, guess who moved?" The other contributing factor to feeling anxious is that I am usually looking beyond today.

I have spoken to you often of my struggle with belief in His love for me and I am pleased to report that He has brought a lot of healing to that area of brokenness in me. There is still much healing needed because I am far from cured. I have discovered however, that it is much easier for me to trust Him for today, than for the rest of my life. What I appreciate is that He is okay with that and interestingly enough, that is really all the Bible asks us to do. Trust Him for our needs.......today. Why is this so important? Because there just isn't any peace for us outside of that trust. Our abuse taught us to rely on ourselves but how well have we taken care of ourselves, really? I don't know about you, but I have treated myself like a piece of crap most of my adult life. That didn't began to change until I invited Jesus into my life to love and take care of me.

He doesn't just want to love us but wants to bring healing and peace into our hearts and lives as well. My book describes my journey to healing in depth but I offer you the hope that what you seek so desperately is available, but I have only found it in Him. I challenge you to just try it for a day. When you start thinking about tomorrow or 3 months or 6 months down the road....stop yourself and pray, "Lord, just get me through today. Take care of my needs, today."

Luke 1:79 when speaking of Jesus says that He came "to guide our feet into the path of peace." Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal." verse 12 says, "LORD, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us."

Let the Lord have today.....just today. I mean a real effort to restrain yourself from looking beyond today and the worries of tomorrow. Focus on Him who loves you and wants you to have perfect peace.

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way."

2 Thessalonians 3:16