When Lord? When?

I don't know about you but sometimes it feels like there is nothing around me but tests and trials! My head knows better. There are good things happening in my life: I found out today that I have sold 20 books. I know.....it's not much but it is a start. I am in the process of eliminating a horribly toxic, destructive person out of my life. No small feat either....I have had to do really tough and even scary things to accomplish it but I want to be healthy dang it! I hate it when I look at a choice I have made and see so clearly that it came from my wounding as a child instead of the God-given wisdom of the adult woman....UGH! But, the important thing is to pick myself back up, learn and try to never make that mistake again. The Lord has brought some new and wonderful friends into my life that are affirming, supportive and loving. Just what my beat up heart needs after this toxic person.

All of that being said......recently, the tests and trials seem to far outweigh the good. I am not going to list them all...not even one because I want to somehow try and be used by God to minister to you. I guess I just want you to know that even in the midst of victory, ie: self-publishing my book (wow, no small accomplishment!) removing a clinging, dysfunctional influence from my world, continuing to get up in the morning and go to work when all I really want to do is pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep....despite the victories........for the most part lately....my heart has been crying out to the Lord. "Lord! Please! I need a break...I can't take much more...I am sooo tired. When am I going to get a break Lord? When?" 

I think the blessings that I do recognise are part of the answer though. Glimmers of light...moments of being able to catch my breath.....truths being spoken into me about my real value, just when I need it most. These give me what I need to put one foot in front of the other for another day or maybe, hour or maybe just through the next minute. Truth is, we are not promised anywhere that fighting to live for the Lord in the midst of Satan's world is going to be easy. I know, you've heard that many times. Me too. Do you know why? Because it is so true and so easy to forget. BUT, the promise we DO have from the Sovereign of the universe Who is also our Daddy is that ......

       "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Short and to the point but take a moment and don't think about anything else that is going on in your life or around you. FOCUS on those 10 words. While you mull over the simple truth they contain, look at the picture of water lilies, serenely floating on the top of the water. Just "be" and rest for a few and remember when you reflect on the above verse, remember............."never" is a very, very long time!