There is truly not another book on this planet that is as good a read as God’s Word! What I want to share is much longer than the typical one or two verses that I normally focus on. When I began reading it and then trying to think of what verses to leave out and what not to….absolutely nothing worked. Sometimes you can do that with the Bible and not lose anything, but with this passage, it is all so intertwined and crucial to each other that it had to be all or none. And my heart felt that He wanted it to be all.
Out of “The Message” Romans 8:18 – 31& 38, 39 (underlining and bold is mine for emphasis): “That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We are also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?
I’m absolutely convinced that nothing-nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable-absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”
These verses are so complete that it is hard for this imperfect human to add much to it aside from my underlining and bold print. Just a few things that ministered to me: I think if I did keep better focus on the coming good times instead of the present hard times, the waiting would not seem like such a burden. And the comparing of my waiting to a pregnancy……that is pure gold and worth really embracing in my heart!
I also love the reassurance that when I don’t have the words to express my heart, when my pain is so overwhelming that all I can do is groan, turn to Him and bury my head in His chest….He KNOWS precisely what I want to say, He KNOWS exactly how I feel. How comforting to my soul! And, after having all that He has done for me so clearly drawn out in the latter verses, how could I EVER truly doubt what I mean to Him? I know that in my case, I forget. I forget the beautiful absolute truths that these verses state. So, I need to keep reminders around me…. I need to be in His Word that reveals His love and devotion in so many different ways…and I need to keep fellowship with others that will remind me in my times of forgetfulness.
In conclusion, how beautiful a picture straight from the heart of our Father…the embrace that Jesus holds us in…..and His embrace is warmer, safer, stronger and more loving than the best embrace we have ever experienced in our lives. THAT is our Lord and our God!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
May We Give Thanks......
During this season of reflection and gratitude…I want you to know that you are on my list of blessings that I thank my Father for. Thank you for being in my life and making it better by being a part of it.
In His Love,
Beryl
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Please pray for me.........
Well, this entry is of a more personal nature. I need to ask that you hold me up in prayer because I am a week into doing something that the Lord laid on my heart over a year ago. As you know, much has transpired in that time but there are to be no more delays!
A week ago, I began to gather research to write my autobiography. The Lord gave me the name of the book back then: “He Showed Me Why”. I know what the cover is going to look like. I have the dedication, the forward and the prolog. I have the outline and the first chapter written.
What I am doing now, is going through all of my journals, calendars and day planners and writing down all the notes or entries. I have made it to 2002 in the last week. Once I have done all of that up to present, then I am taking all of my pictures (and there are a lot!) and compiling them to match the timeline. Once that is all put together, I will then sit down and pull out the pictures and data from the time period for the chapter I am writing and will lay it all out before the Lord and ask Him to bring people, events and/or emotions to mind and give me the words that HE wants written. I can tell you that it has been a brutal week so far. I am blessed to have someone that is taking care of my very basic financial needs and that is enabling me to focus on this and nothing else until it is finished.
This project is costing me much though and I really need prayer to continue to the end.
There is a whole lot more “ugly” in my past than “pretty” or “good”. The Lord has shown me ways that He is going to use my story to help others on a variety of levels but it is taking its pound of flesh and heart in the process. I have made out a schedule that has me working on the book 4 hours a day and focusing on the blog on a regular basis as well. So I ask that you hold me up in prayer whenever the Lord lays me on your heart. If you could pray that He would help me to keep things in perspective and not beat up on myself for my past and that I would have the strength to stick with this no matter how hard it is. I also have scheduled Sunday to be a real, true day off, a day for rejuvenation and I need to be able to stick by that since the week is so hard for me emotionally. This is easier said than done since taking an entire day off every week seems to be a bad fit for this world and the way that most people function these days.
I don’t want to sound overly negative….I am aware of the God-given focus I have as well as the provision He has made for me to be able to write this and I am excited about the end result and what the Lord will do. But it is very much like surgery. The process is messy, painful, costly and slow going; however, I know that the result will mean much healing and growth for my heart, leading to a bright and exciting future as well as prayerfully giving hope to others.
Thank you for continuing to love and support me with your thoughts and prayers.
May our Father….our Daddy keep you safe and warm in the love of His embrace.
A week ago, I began to gather research to write my autobiography. The Lord gave me the name of the book back then: “He Showed Me Why”. I know what the cover is going to look like. I have the dedication, the forward and the prolog. I have the outline and the first chapter written.
What I am doing now, is going through all of my journals, calendars and day planners and writing down all the notes or entries. I have made it to 2002 in the last week. Once I have done all of that up to present, then I am taking all of my pictures (and there are a lot!) and compiling them to match the timeline. Once that is all put together, I will then sit down and pull out the pictures and data from the time period for the chapter I am writing and will lay it all out before the Lord and ask Him to bring people, events and/or emotions to mind and give me the words that HE wants written. I can tell you that it has been a brutal week so far. I am blessed to have someone that is taking care of my very basic financial needs and that is enabling me to focus on this and nothing else until it is finished.
This project is costing me much though and I really need prayer to continue to the end.
There is a whole lot more “ugly” in my past than “pretty” or “good”. The Lord has shown me ways that He is going to use my story to help others on a variety of levels but it is taking its pound of flesh and heart in the process. I have made out a schedule that has me working on the book 4 hours a day and focusing on the blog on a regular basis as well. So I ask that you hold me up in prayer whenever the Lord lays me on your heart. If you could pray that He would help me to keep things in perspective and not beat up on myself for my past and that I would have the strength to stick with this no matter how hard it is. I also have scheduled Sunday to be a real, true day off, a day for rejuvenation and I need to be able to stick by that since the week is so hard for me emotionally. This is easier said than done since taking an entire day off every week seems to be a bad fit for this world and the way that most people function these days.
I don’t want to sound overly negative….I am aware of the God-given focus I have as well as the provision He has made for me to be able to write this and I am excited about the end result and what the Lord will do. But it is very much like surgery. The process is messy, painful, costly and slow going; however, I know that the result will mean much healing and growth for my heart, leading to a bright and exciting future as well as prayerfully giving hope to others.
Thank you for continuing to love and support me with your thoughts and prayers.
May our Father….our Daddy keep you safe and warm in the love of His embrace.
Friday, November 9, 2007
And yet another chapter begins.....
My heart is so full…on so many levels…that it is hard to know where to start. It has been too long since I have written but the Lord has continued to be faithful and work in my life regardless.
But I guess for now, I will focus on explaining the newest change that I have made to this blog. When I first began this blog I didn’t have the full picture of what the Lord had in mind, (imagine that!) and so I set it up more as a blog my spiritual journey than the ministry that He has laid on my heart. That being the case, I wanted to write a tribute, if you will, to my dearest Neil.
I had a very dear and trusted friend point out to me that maybe the Lord would like tribute paid more appropriately because of the focused direction that the blog now has. After all, it is about His power, His love and His affection for us, His children, in other words, the blog is all about Him! As soon as she said the words, I knew the truth of them and therefore am compelled to make a change. But I didn’t want that change to be misinterpreted.
I HAVE been very blessed to have Neil in my life with all of his tender, caring ways and he has brought many great changes to my life and he will always have a special place in my heart. That being said, as I read the tribute that I wrote to him, my heart was convicted because the words written are perfectly descriptive of what my heavenly “Daddy” has been to me for my whole life, not just 8 years. He has been sensitive to my feelings and needs even when I haven’t known what they were! He knows me more completely than it is possible for another human to ever know me. He alone has improved the quality of my life and has used wonderful people like Neil as His vessels to do so.
I have used the term soul mate a whole lot in my lifetime and I have continued to be more and more educated as to what that really means. But as I read the words, I realize that there is no deeper, more perfect or more real soul mate than my heavenly Father! I wrote that I believe that most never meet their soul mate and settle for less. WOW! That is truer from this perspective. After all, even if we find our true mate for life on this earth, aren’t we settling for less if we let that person replace the true “soul mating” with our Lord?! And finally, I wrote, “Thank you my king for being in my life and blessing me with your love and heart.” Well, could there be anyone more worthy of those words than my Lord, my God, my Daddy and my King?!
So I needed to share with you some of the reasoning that leads me to change the tribute from Neil to a tribute to my heavenly Daddy. I also want to state that Neil has said that he would never want to take away from what the Lord has done in my life or share a place in the spotlight with Him. So he understands why I make the change and agrees with it.
So this change brings with it yet another chapter in this, as my pastor calls it, the great adventure of the Christian walk. It is no tiptoe thru the tulips but the richness and depth of it is irreplaceable. Thank you for continuing on this walk with me, I treasure you more than you can possibly know.
But I guess for now, I will focus on explaining the newest change that I have made to this blog. When I first began this blog I didn’t have the full picture of what the Lord had in mind, (imagine that!) and so I set it up more as a blog my spiritual journey than the ministry that He has laid on my heart. That being the case, I wanted to write a tribute, if you will, to my dearest Neil.
I had a very dear and trusted friend point out to me that maybe the Lord would like tribute paid more appropriately because of the focused direction that the blog now has. After all, it is about His power, His love and His affection for us, His children, in other words, the blog is all about Him! As soon as she said the words, I knew the truth of them and therefore am compelled to make a change. But I didn’t want that change to be misinterpreted.
I HAVE been very blessed to have Neil in my life with all of his tender, caring ways and he has brought many great changes to my life and he will always have a special place in my heart. That being said, as I read the tribute that I wrote to him, my heart was convicted because the words written are perfectly descriptive of what my heavenly “Daddy” has been to me for my whole life, not just 8 years. He has been sensitive to my feelings and needs even when I haven’t known what they were! He knows me more completely than it is possible for another human to ever know me. He alone has improved the quality of my life and has used wonderful people like Neil as His vessels to do so.
I have used the term soul mate a whole lot in my lifetime and I have continued to be more and more educated as to what that really means. But as I read the words, I realize that there is no deeper, more perfect or more real soul mate than my heavenly Father! I wrote that I believe that most never meet their soul mate and settle for less. WOW! That is truer from this perspective. After all, even if we find our true mate for life on this earth, aren’t we settling for less if we let that person replace the true “soul mating” with our Lord?! And finally, I wrote, “Thank you my king for being in my life and blessing me with your love and heart.” Well, could there be anyone more worthy of those words than my Lord, my God, my Daddy and my King?!
So I needed to share with you some of the reasoning that leads me to change the tribute from Neil to a tribute to my heavenly Daddy. I also want to state that Neil has said that he would never want to take away from what the Lord has done in my life or share a place in the spotlight with Him. So he understands why I make the change and agrees with it.
So this change brings with it yet another chapter in this, as my pastor calls it, the great adventure of the Christian walk. It is no tiptoe thru the tulips but the richness and depth of it is irreplaceable. Thank you for continuing on this walk with me, I treasure you more than you can possibly know.
Friday, September 14, 2007
A letter to you...
Dear Ones,
I normally will not use this blog to write about personal events but something happened last week that once again drives home the point that we do not know how fleeting and fragile our existence here is.
I received a phone message from Neil on the 6th telling me that his oldest son Matthew, along with Lauren, his wife were in a very serious car accident the day before and that both of their backs were broken. The prognosis for Lauren was good and she was going to have surgery within 24 hours but the prognosis for Matthew was not good and he was not even stable enough to go thru surgery. Neil was in South Africa on a two week missions trip when he received the news. I cannot begin to describe all the feelings that I experienced as I listened to his message. Within two hours time and after many phone calls, there were 6 churches in 4 different states praying for Matthew, Lauren, Neil and the rest of the family. There was prayer for their survival and that there would be no paralysis. There was prayer for the salvation of Matthew, Lauren and Lauren’s family. There was prayer that Neil would be able to get home safely and quickly despite the fact that all of his return flights would have to be on standby. There was prayer that Neil would be held up and strengthened by those around him and that he would have a peace that could only come from the Lord.
Well, you know, God is even more faithful than we can fathom at times. It turns out that the accident was caused by Matthew having a seizure (even though he has no history of seizures). Lauren’s quick thinking caused her to unbuckle her seat belt, grab the wheel and reach down with her hand to hit the brakes. I do not have all the numbers exact but basically this is what I know. They apparently flew over a 20 to 30 foot embankment which caused them to hit the ground so hard that even though they did not hit anything or roll the vehicle, the SUV was demolished, both their backs were broken and they had to use the jaws of life to get them out. Miraculously, the vehicle stopped 20 feet shy of a 200 to 300 foot drop that obviously would have killed them had they gone over. Without writing all that I obviously could to cover the last week and a day, these are the high points. Lauren’s surgery was a complete success, she is expected to have a 100% recovery and was released from the hospital day before yesterday! Matthew’s surgery was a complete success, is expected to have a 100% recovery and went home today! The doctor had to operate on Matthew’s spine thru his stomach and his back because of old injuries from another severe accident 10 years ago.
When he went in, he said that the damage was much more severe than the x-rays or MRI showed and that there is no medical reason whatsoever that Matthew is not paralyzed! When he removed a 3 centimeter piece of bone from Matthew’s spine, the nerve machine that he was hooked up to went crazy with all the nerve activity that started! Apparently with an injury like that, the nerves that are damaged require time to begin working again and yet the doctor said that they “changed right before his eyes” once the bone was removed. It is the consensus that he was eye witness to a miracle from the very hand of God! It is also noteworthy that Neil caught every standby flight on the way home which is nothing short of a miracle because of how overbooked flights are right now.
After driving 18 hours with just a 2 hour nap, I got to Southern California about 5 hours after Neil got home. There is no doubt that God was watching over this accident….answering prayers that had not even been prayed yet.
Matthew does not always wear his seatbelt…but he had it on. Lauren’s quick thinking stopped them short of a drop off that would have killed them both. Neither one of them is paralyzed and will have a 100% recovery. And they are both out of the hospital and walking 1 week and 2 days after the accident!!! How wondrous and marvelous is our God! It has been faith strengthening to me to see that even before we knew to pray and ask, He was answering prayers. That to me is amazing. To see His fingerprints all over what could have been so much more of a tragedy is just awe inspiring to me. The nurses talked about what a miracle it is that both of them had their backs broken and neither one of them is paralyzed. Actually, the “m” word has been spoken a lot over the last week.
I want to thank all of you that have been holding us up in prayer over the last 8 days. Thank you for your faithfulness and loyalty as a family in standing by us in the most powerful of ways. If anyone reading this is in a place today where it may be hard to believe that our Father is listening or cares about you and your life, let this be an encouragement to you. Not only is He passionate about His love for us, faithful in caring for us, loyal in never leaving us but He is answering prayers before they are even uttered. He loves all of us as His children and is mighty, powerful and able to save and He does!
In closing, there are emotional side affects from a traumatic event like this that have to be addressed. I ask for your prayers that I will be a vessel of the Lord during this time of great upheaval and adjustment. Please pray for traveling mercies as I return home at the end of the month. I also ask that you continue to pray for the salvation of these dear ones, that this heart wrenching event will be turned around for the good of all those involved, and that all may come to know Him as the tender, loving Daddy that He is.
In His Mercy and Grace,
Your servant, Beryl
I normally will not use this blog to write about personal events but something happened last week that once again drives home the point that we do not know how fleeting and fragile our existence here is.
I received a phone message from Neil on the 6th telling me that his oldest son Matthew, along with Lauren, his wife were in a very serious car accident the day before and that both of their backs were broken. The prognosis for Lauren was good and she was going to have surgery within 24 hours but the prognosis for Matthew was not good and he was not even stable enough to go thru surgery. Neil was in South Africa on a two week missions trip when he received the news. I cannot begin to describe all the feelings that I experienced as I listened to his message. Within two hours time and after many phone calls, there were 6 churches in 4 different states praying for Matthew, Lauren, Neil and the rest of the family. There was prayer for their survival and that there would be no paralysis. There was prayer for the salvation of Matthew, Lauren and Lauren’s family. There was prayer that Neil would be able to get home safely and quickly despite the fact that all of his return flights would have to be on standby. There was prayer that Neil would be held up and strengthened by those around him and that he would have a peace that could only come from the Lord.
Well, you know, God is even more faithful than we can fathom at times. It turns out that the accident was caused by Matthew having a seizure (even though he has no history of seizures). Lauren’s quick thinking caused her to unbuckle her seat belt, grab the wheel and reach down with her hand to hit the brakes. I do not have all the numbers exact but basically this is what I know. They apparently flew over a 20 to 30 foot embankment which caused them to hit the ground so hard that even though they did not hit anything or roll the vehicle, the SUV was demolished, both their backs were broken and they had to use the jaws of life to get them out. Miraculously, the vehicle stopped 20 feet shy of a 200 to 300 foot drop that obviously would have killed them had they gone over. Without writing all that I obviously could to cover the last week and a day, these are the high points. Lauren’s surgery was a complete success, she is expected to have a 100% recovery and was released from the hospital day before yesterday! Matthew’s surgery was a complete success, is expected to have a 100% recovery and went home today! The doctor had to operate on Matthew’s spine thru his stomach and his back because of old injuries from another severe accident 10 years ago.
When he went in, he said that the damage was much more severe than the x-rays or MRI showed and that there is no medical reason whatsoever that Matthew is not paralyzed! When he removed a 3 centimeter piece of bone from Matthew’s spine, the nerve machine that he was hooked up to went crazy with all the nerve activity that started! Apparently with an injury like that, the nerves that are damaged require time to begin working again and yet the doctor said that they “changed right before his eyes” once the bone was removed. It is the consensus that he was eye witness to a miracle from the very hand of God! It is also noteworthy that Neil caught every standby flight on the way home which is nothing short of a miracle because of how overbooked flights are right now.
After driving 18 hours with just a 2 hour nap, I got to Southern California about 5 hours after Neil got home. There is no doubt that God was watching over this accident….answering prayers that had not even been prayed yet.
Matthew does not always wear his seatbelt…but he had it on. Lauren’s quick thinking stopped them short of a drop off that would have killed them both. Neither one of them is paralyzed and will have a 100% recovery. And they are both out of the hospital and walking 1 week and 2 days after the accident!!! How wondrous and marvelous is our God! It has been faith strengthening to me to see that even before we knew to pray and ask, He was answering prayers. That to me is amazing. To see His fingerprints all over what could have been so much more of a tragedy is just awe inspiring to me. The nurses talked about what a miracle it is that both of them had their backs broken and neither one of them is paralyzed. Actually, the “m” word has been spoken a lot over the last week.
I want to thank all of you that have been holding us up in prayer over the last 8 days. Thank you for your faithfulness and loyalty as a family in standing by us in the most powerful of ways. If anyone reading this is in a place today where it may be hard to believe that our Father is listening or cares about you and your life, let this be an encouragement to you. Not only is He passionate about His love for us, faithful in caring for us, loyal in never leaving us but He is answering prayers before they are even uttered. He loves all of us as His children and is mighty, powerful and able to save and He does!
In closing, there are emotional side affects from a traumatic event like this that have to be addressed. I ask for your prayers that I will be a vessel of the Lord during this time of great upheaval and adjustment. Please pray for traveling mercies as I return home at the end of the month. I also ask that you continue to pray for the salvation of these dear ones, that this heart wrenching event will be turned around for the good of all those involved, and that all may come to know Him as the tender, loving Daddy that He is.
In His Mercy and Grace,
Your servant, Beryl
ps: I am not sure how writing is going to work out since I do not have constant access to a computer but if nothing else, I will resume a regular schedule around the 3rd or 4th of October. Thank you for your continued understanding and support.
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