His Unfathonable Love

This time of year is like no other.....the weightiness of it is overwhelming to me. I watched "The Passion" yesterday and there are no words to convey my heart response to it. Well, not to the movie but to what the movie portrays very accurately, I believe, what Jesus suffered and yet as we all know, not to the true extent of the reality because it could not be shown in theaters.
While I have struggled with much negative emotion, the Lord spoke to me a little while ago and said, "This is not about how horrible you are or how horrible the human race is, this is about how inconceivably deep my love is." And I was reminded of what Jesus said to His followers in John 10: 16 - 18 and The Message records it this way:
"That is why the Father loves me: because I freely lay down my life. And so I am free to take it up again. No one takes it from me. I lay it down of my own free will. I have the right to lay it down; I also have the right to take it up again."
So with that in mind, I flash thru the various images that have been playing over again in my head since yesterday and my mind cannot wrap itself around that kind of love. To voluntarily take on what He did....and to do that because of love for ME! of love for all of us! how should that touch my heart? What should it make me feel? How would He want me to feel about it? Would he want me to beat myself up and focus on what a horrible person I am because of the part that I play in hanging Him on that cross? The part that I play in the brutality of the flogging, the humiliation, the betrayal, the agony of heart and the horrific agony of body. While I am sure that He does NOT want me to blow those facts off and I think they should motivate a more self sacrificing heart for Him, I also believe that His heart desire is to provide us, His wounded, hurt little girls, with healing, with reassurance that He would never have gone through all that He did just to turn around and abandon us, to betray us or to forget about us. If anything should reassure us of that fact, it is looking at all He has done, all that He endured for me and for you. If anything should expose the lies of Satan that have been whispered in our ears since we were first injured as little girls, it is the willing outpouring of His precious blood on the ground as they literally beat the flesh off of His body. It is the willingness of going thru the heartbreak of abandonment and betrayal at the point in His life when He needed support most. And I believe that one reason that He did is so we could know without a doubt that He knows the the way we have felt as little girls in our betrayal and abandonment. How, quite frankly, our little girls still feel about it.
These things are not expected to make everything ok in our hearts, in fact, I am certain that it doesn't. But what I am certain of is that it is because of His unfathomable love for us that He wants to minister healing to our very core, to our still very small, very afraid, very wounded little girl. And this healing is going to be, is already being given in the smallest ways, yet with restoring results thru His leading in this ministry.
My dear sisters, be assured as women, that He suffered beyond what we can conceive, to bring healing to our little girls and what He purposes will NEVER come back without results.